


Let me give you some advice...

by FrostieFroakie



Series: Frostie's DR V3 braindumps [9]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, and kichi confronting one astronaut, friends just meeting up, kichi means well he's just.... kokichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 05:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostieFroakie/pseuds/FrostieFroakie
Summary: Ouma and Saihara meet up with Momota and Harukawa at a diner.Ouma confronts Momota about him being an absolute spineless coward.





	Let me give you some advice...

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to been finish this ghvyffhc
> 
> Anyways i thought this was a funny lil concept to muse over u wu

“Hey, Space Ghost Coast to Coast! Madam MakiRoll~”

 

Ouma grinned as he greeted the couple in the diner with a little bow. Said couple stared at the gremlin before simultaneous looking up at his boyfriend as he gave them a sheepish smile. “Hey guys.”

 

Harukawa just pointed at the grinning man with a blank face before saying, “Why.”

 

“He insisted on coming…”

 

“Ouchie ouch, giving me the cold shoulder already?” Ouma pouted, crocodile tears gathering. “You 2 are so mean… I mean, _really_ , we survived high school together!” He wailed and stomped one foot on the ground.

 

Momota opened his mouth to respond but Saihara just motioned for him to let it go. He pressed a hand to Ouma's back. “Behave or else I won't get you that milkshake you want so badly.”

 

Ouma gasped and gripped at his own chest as he spun to face his lover. “Bribing _me_ Mr. Detective? Since when have you been so underhanded huh?”

 

“Since I decided to fall in love with Satan's illegitimate child.”

 

Ouma laughed. “Savage!~ You really shouldn't flirt with me so openly in front of our friends like that…” he smirked.

 

Saihara rolled his eyes before pushing him into the booth gently. “Just behave.”

 

“I am though,” Ouma said as he sat down, Saihara sliding in next to him. “If I wasn't Kaito would already have a pie in his face.”

 

“Why do you feel the need to always pick on me,” Momota grumbled.

 

“Nishishi~ ‘Cause! Your reactions to my pranks are never not boring,” he smiled cutely, though the malicious mischief glittering in his violet eyes did not go unnoticed.

 

The quartet ordered lunch as they caught up with each other, Momota talking passionately about his career (while Ouma politely ignored him as he sipped away at his much too large milkshake), Harukawa talking about the daycare she plans on opening in the near future (“Pretty smart of you to use a daycare as your secret base of operations for your _other_ job~ hehe- ow! Hey, did you just kick me?? Rude…”), and Saihara talking about his detective work. As much as he's allowed to anyways.

 

“Ooh, is it my turn to share?!” Ouma bounced in his seat with wide excited eyes.

 

“No, you keep quiet,” Harumaka said simply, not even giving him a glance.

 

“Harrrsh MakiRoll~ What have I ever done to get such a callous attitude from you, huh?” Ouma crossed his arms with a childish pout.

 

Harumaka glared at the shorter man before directing her attention to Saihara. “Shuichi. Can I speak with you privately?”

 

“Huh? Uh... sure Maki,” Saihara gave her a curious look before sliding out of the booth. Harumaka slipped out as well and started leading him out of the diner when Ouma called out, “Don't pull a Miu and try to seduce my man into your arms now Maki~” which resulted in Saihara having to cling onto her arm and pull her along outside to stop her from doing anything she might regret later.

 

Momota frowned as Ouma giggled then went back to drinking from the large glass. He hummed a random tune, head propped up on his hands and eyes closed. He was oddly quiet and it made Momota a little nervous…

 

Well, maybe he should just enjoy it while it-

 

“Kaito~”

 

Oh geez.

 

“...What do you want?”

 

“I still don't see a ring on her finger~ Goodness, you really are a coward huh?...” Ouma opened one eye and pinned the astronaut with a stare.

 

“W-what??” Momota blushed and fidgeted. “D-didn't I already tell you it's too soon?... I'm… waiting for the perfect moment…”

 

“Hmm…” Ouma stirred his milkshake a bit before he frowned. “God, you're still such an idiot.”

 

“What was that, you little imp?!”

 

“Hard of hearing?~ I said _you're still such an_ **_idiot_ **!” Ouma smirked then tapped his nails on the table. “You've been with this woman since our 3rd year of high school… Which would make it damn near 6 years now and you still haven't attached your big boy balls and engaged?” Ouma rolled his eyes. “The fact that you 2 are still together just proves how much love you have for each other and yet you continue to beat around the bush. Honestly, disgraceful.”

 

Momota clenched his fists and growled, “Are you really criticizing my relationship with Maki when you couldn't even ask out your crush until _after_ we graduated high school?!”

 

“The differences are vast so I won't even grace that with a response,” Ouma replied smoothly.

 

“...Hmph, you call me out but I don't see _you_ proposing with your boyfriend of 4 years…” he grumbled before sipping at his water.

 

Ouma gave Momota a wide grin. “Nishishi~ That's ‘cause I already did~”

 

Momota choked and stared at him with wide eyes… then he narrowed them and looked out the window to where Saihara and Harukawa were standing and chatting… before glaring at the grinning man in front of him. “That's a lie, I don't see any ring on his finger.”

 

Ouma let out a loud laugh that actually made Momota jump slightly. “Who do you think you are talking to Kaito!?” he exclaimed then finished off his milkshake with a satisfied sigh. “I'm sure if you look _reeeeeal_ close even _you_ can figure it out, Space Case,” he cooed.

 

The astronaut furrowed his eyebrows then looked back over at the 2. Harumaka was fiddling with one of her long ponytails while Saihara seemed to be calmly explaining something to her. He didn't have any ring… Hell, he didn't have any sort of jewelry on him… Momota raised an eyebrow as he continued watching them. Harukawa shook her head and Saihara gave her a sheepish but friendly smile as he flicked at the ring on his choker. Oh, well, there _was_ that choker thing he seems to always be wearing lately but did that really count as jewe-

 

Wait.

 

Momota snapped his attention back onto Ouma's grinning face. “Ohhh~ Didya figure it out?~”

 

“You proposed with a collar?!”

 

Ouma snickered as he stole a few bites from his lover's sandwich. “That's right~”

 

Momota had several questions. Firstly, “When?”

 

“On our 1 year anniversary~”

 

“And I'm only learning this now?!”

 

“Relax Kaito~ We didn’t tell anyone, you’re not that special~”

 

“Wait, what? Why not?”

 

Ouma smiled a small smile. “Well I have soooo many people who want me dead y'know? Being a supreme leader of evil and all,” he brushed a few loose strand of hair behind his ear. “So we agreed to keep it a se~cret~ until the time is right~” he purred, one finger pressed against his own lips as he winked.

 

Clearly a lie but Momota wasn't sure if it was worth it to press the issue. If his best friend agreed to keep something this important a secret it must be for a good reason…

 

“Ok then…” Momota narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why a collar though you freak? Why not just a regular ring?” The whole concept of using a _collar_ to propose was a bit… unsettling in his eyes… especially considering this was _Ouma_.

 

Ouma tapped his nails on the empty glass rhythmically, giving the astronaut a blank stare. He looked like he was contemplating something before he rolled his eyes. “Because _I_ do not follow social norms, that's boring as fuck. Besides, what is a ring but a small collar you put on your finger?”

 

Momota blinked twice.

 

“Who says I can't propose in any way I want? Who made it a rule that it has to be done with useless rocks attached to a piece of metal that is so stupidly inflated in price because we as a species are just that gullible to believe that it _has_ to be done with a ring?” Ouma scoffed with a pout. “The choker is really no different in terms of symbolism in my eyes… And I think chokers are soooo much cuter on him then some dumb ring…”

 

Momota watched as Ouma's gaze drifted to the detective standing outside. The self proclaimed leader of evil smiled a gentle smile, the kind he only ever saw on him when Saihara was around… Huh.

 

“Or maybe I'm just that kinky,” Ouma smirked playfully.

 

And he _had_ to go and ruin it.

 

“Ugh, I don't care to know about your fucked up kinks.”

 

“I hope you know that if you kinkshame me, you're also kinkshaming Shuichi,” he cooed.

 

“Anyways!” Momota gulped down a mouthful of his water before looking at Ouma with a nervous expression. “...How did you, um…. How did you propose?...” he asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

 

Ouma hummed thoughtfully before giving the man a wide smile. “After dinner and a movie, I took him out on a night of vandalism, thievery, and debauchery~ Then once we were alone in the safety of my secret base, all giggly and excited by the run from the Popo, I pulled out the box with the collar, took his hand and said, “Stay by my side forever as my Queen Shumai!~” and he hugged me close with an excited ‘Yes!’ before I collared my beloved fiance...”

 

Momota _almost_ believed him… but the words ‘vandalism’, ‘thievery’, and ‘debauchery’ made it an obvious lie. Even if he was dating, or madly in love with, this guy of all people, he was _positive_ Saihara wouldn’t do any of those things.

 

...

 

“And then we consummated the proposal all~ night~ long~”

 

Momota choked. “I do not NEED nor do I _WANT_ TO KNOW ABOUT THAT!”

 

Ouma laughed. It was just too easy to get a reaction out of him. “You asked and I answered Kaito!~”

 

“That last comment had nothing to do with-!” Momota rubbed a hand down his own face before frowning at the shorter man. “Whatever, just…” God, was he really about to do this…. “...h-how do I….”

 

“Hm?... Oh~ I see~ Nishishi, you want some help on how to propose without swallowing your own tongue?”

 

The nervous, embarrassed look on Momota's face was all the leader needed to see. He entwined his fingers together and tilted his head before giving the astronaut an abnormally wide Cheshire grin. “Teehee~ I'll gladly give you some advice Mr. ‘Luminary of the Star’~”

 

The mocking tone in Ouma's voice made Momota want to punch him but the look on his face terrified him to an unreasonable degree.

 

This was a mistake wasn't it.

 

XxX

 

“Kokichi... Did you do anything to Kaito while I was talking to Maki?”

 

“Yeah, I gave him a footjob under the table. He seemed stressed.”

 

A sigh. “Kokichi.”

 

“I'm kidding~ We just talked Shu-baby~ Why do you think I did something anyways? I'm not a monster.”

 

“Kaito was acting really strange is all… And I believe we both know you absolutely are a monster.”

 

A whine. “Damn, you too!? What is today huh? ‘Pick on Kokichi’ Day??? All of you just ganging up on poor defenceless me…”

 

“Maybe I _should_ make that an official day…”

 

“Humph, meanie... How about this then. I'll tell you what Kaito and I talked about if you tell me what Ms. Asassy dragged you off to talk about. Deal?”

 

“Hm… Alright.”

 

XxX

 

It's been a few weeks since the 2 couples met up. Ouma and Saihara sat side by side on their bed, the short leader playing on his phone while the detective shuffled through a current case file. Ouma let out a small gasp, catching his lover's attention.

 

“Check it out Shumai!” Ouma snuggled into his boyfriend's side as he showed Saihara his Twitter timeline.

 

A picture of Harukawa looking genuinely happy and excited with Momota's arm wrapped around her grinning proudly and just as excited as she showed off the ring on her finger with the caption “ **_SHE SAID YES!!!!!!_ **”

 

Saihara let out a light hearted laugh. “Good for them! Tell them I said congratulations.”

 

Ouma was typing away as Saihara asked him to pass on his massage.

 

 _SupremeLeaderOfShuuchi @grapeyboi replied_ : Of course she said yes you stardust huffing moron! she put up with ur ass for 6 FUCKING YEARS! Also Shumai said Congratulations <3

 

 _LuminaryOfTheStars @astronomyrocs replied_ : SHUT UP YOU SHIT! And tell him I said thank you!!!

 

Ouma giggled while Saihara just shook his head with a smile then went back to writing a few notes in the case folder.

 

A little ‘ping’ made Ouma look back at his phone with a tilt of his head. Oh, he got a DM… from Momota?

 

_And, uhm…. thanks for the advice bro…_

 

The message had him staring at the phone in slight bewilderment before he let a small smile curve his lips. He snickered before replying,

 

_You're very welcome Kaito._

_Have fun being legally bonded to Ms.Knife-up-my-ass!_

 

_Why do you have to ruin every gentle moment with ur comments._

 

_Nishishi~ cause I'm Kokichi of course! <3<3 _

**Author's Note:**

> Ouma be like 'ur porkin an ACTUAL assassin but ur too scared to PROPOSE??? What the /fuck/ Honestly yall would be lost without me....'
> 
> Hmm. Wonder what Shu and Maki were chattin about... =)
> 
> My favorite nickname for Maki now is Ms.Asassy. (plz tell me the joke is obvious)


End file.
